What’s curious is that people will respond differently when they receive a bad gift. Socks and ties are nice, in the most underwhelming sense of the word. Or they might be the practical and dull - not bad per se, but not special, for sure. ![]() They might be the oddness of a novelty mug or a garish pair of trousers you’ll never wear. We’ve all been given bad gifts in our time. As the poet David Whyte writes in his book, Consolations, “Giving means paying attention and creating imaginative contact with the one to whom we are giving, it is a form of attention itself, a way of acknowledging and giving thanks for lives other than our own.” A bad gift We have the physical present unwrapped and we have the infinitely more valuable gift of being seen, being known, and being loved.Ī well-chosen gift is a grasping and reaching effort that tells the gifted that they matter to you. When we receive something from someone who understands us entirely or, better yet, when we get something that we didn’t even know we needed, we’re gifted twice. So when we’re given a truly meaningful and thoughtful gift, it feels incredible. The best-chosen gifts are pieces of yourself that add to another’s being. A gift says you either know a person or want to know a person, and you would like to find the thing that fits their life. To gift is to let someone know that they matter enough to you that you’re willing to seek and find something that suits them. But when you give a gift, you’re giving consideration. When you buy a thing, you’re giving something useful or fun or beautiful. There is a great difference between buying someone something and gifting. “How can Jeff say he loves me when he thinks this is what I’d like for my birthday!” Gifting and buying
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